Monday, July 20, 2015

We Are More Than Just Our Illnesses

In the spirit of 'overall wellness', I wanted to add a post about perhaps the most important aspect of our wellness - the health and happiness of our hearts and minds.

Sunday was my husband's birthday.  No matter how old we get, I'd like to think these days are special for all of us.  We may not need to celebrate with bouncy houses or balloons, but we should celebrate that we've had another year to spend with our family and friends- time is precious.  

I tried to make the weekend at least a little special, despite the fact that it was a very busy weekend since we had previously committed to working for a local group here...all day everyday over the weekend.  But each day I managed to give him a gift or two, nothing fancy, but with thought - An outfit, some bike gear, an old style shave kit (I'm going to learn to shave him) and a set of books from classic poetry to some of the more eclectic kind that I thought he'd really like.

I do wish we'd had more time to spend together - 5 minutes into Monday, I already missed him.  But we did choose to spend a little while Saturday night to reconnect.  We have our ways that we reconnect, and it's not all about sex, or just watching a show together - we do those things, and they are certainly good things in our marriage, but it's not our only tools.  We have specific things we do, and I truly think having these things, that are special to us, make us a stronger couple.
We are certainly happier than we were in our previous marriages, but I don't use those as our measuring stick.  Light cigarettes may be better than fully loaded, but they are still cigarettes.  So I don't compare, because that might just mean it was better, but still not good.  

We are actually, in my opinion, a good, solid marriage.  
-We communicate with each other very well.  
-We express our feelings very well. 
-We don't hold grudges.
-We have solid methods for conflict resolution.
-And we don't assume that one is 'out to get' the other.

I believe he loves me and has my best interest at heart, and I hope he knows I do as well.   I know that we are both more interested in looking for opportunities to make the other person happy; rather that only looking out for ourselves.  

When we take the time to really connect, I can feel it for days after.  Physically and emotionally.  We are definitely the better for it. It increases our health individually, and as a couple.

I highly recommend every couple find a thing that is just theirs.  Something that provides at least an hour or so of uninterrupted, concentrated, focused time with each other.  Something that isn't a 'distraction', but that allows you to really connect.  And then try to do this regularly.  I believe it is a big factor in making the difference this time around.

We get so caught up in the stressful, busy lives we've made for ourselves and we forget about taking time for us, the individual 'us' and the couple.  So even on this stressful, busy birthday weekend - we took some time for us - and I'm feeling closer and more in love, and that feels good.  

So while I didn’t get as much alone time with him as I would have liked, I hope his birthday was still special.  He’s not just my husband, he’s my friend, truly my partner and teammate, and my champion.  I love him dearly.  I look forward to spending many more birthdays together.

Here's to WATCHING your health.

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